INTERVIEW: Turning Pain Into Comedy — An Interview with Ms. Pat
“We gotta learn to get along. I’m not wasting my time hating you because hate takes energy.”
Ms. Pat doesn’t shy away from painful truths—she turns them into punchlines. The comedian, author, producer, podcaster, and star of The Ms. Pat Show has built a career on rewriting her traumatic past into raw, unapologetic humor that’s as honest as it is hilarious. After her show at the Funny Bone, we had just a few minutes to chat before she had to head out—but in that short time, I got more than I ever expected.
Ms. Pat opened up about how comedy helped her take control of her life, the importance of letting go of the past, and why she wants her audience to laugh and think. Here’s how it went.
Sarah Michelle Sherman: You talk about a lot of darker topics, a lot of hard things… Is there an amount of time it takes you to be able to experience it and then joke about it?
Ms. Pat: I’m 52, so a lot of it is at least 40-something years old. But you can’t change the past. So I said, well, what can I do? Because I’ve seen when people just dwell. So I’ve learned, don’t dwell on the things in life that you don’t have control over.
When I became a comedian, I started to tell my story, and I realized I wasn’t the only person out there. I wasn’t the only teen mom. Poverty doesn’t have a race, and that’s what America doesn’t realize. There’s people from all walks of life that have been through or known somebody who has experienced some of the things that I have experienced. So, I started to talk about it, hoping I could free people to say, it’s okay. It’s okay.
You can't change the past, but you do have control of the future. And that's what I want people to know. What, are you going to sit around and say, oh, I went through this…? Ain't nothing you can do about it. But you can change tomorrow. So, let's start living. When you dwell, you’re just stuck in a spot. That's why I tell people, wake up and start living again. Just because somebody snatched part of your life—take it back. And that's what I did.
SMS: For all the people here tonight… obviously, you want them to laugh—but do you want them to laugh more or think more? What’s the main takeaway you hope they leave with?
MP: I want them to do both. Like, I talk about having an abortion… I’m a 52-year-old lady. I’ve been in this country for 52 years. Why should some old white men whose dicks don’t work tell me what to do with my body?
SMS: Fuck yes.
MP: You know what I’m saying? I tell people, when I went in and voted this year… I said, I didn’t vote for my vagina. I voted for younger vaginas. So, I want people to laugh. I want people to think, too.
I didn’t get to a lot of the political stuff [tonight], but I tell a story about my gutter guy having a Trump hat on, and people thought I was crazy… Well, I say, hey, if you had a business, would you want somebody to not shop with you because of what you believe in? I just ask you to respect people. I don’t care what you believe in. Because that Trump hat came from China, just like my weave—both of them used for covering. I believe in this hair I’ve got on my head, and he believed in that hat. So why can’t we be friends?
SMS: Exactly. We’re friends… [I say, half-joking, well-aware we just met three minutes ago.]
MP: Yeah! You agree to disagree and it’s okay. It’s okay. And when you have a relationship with those types of people, you know what to stay away from.
SMS: That’s so important.
MP: Yeah, even with loved ones. So many families have been broken up over this political crap and I just tell people, look, we’re human. Just because you don’t like chocolate ice cream and I do, doesn’t make you a bad person. But some people can’t stomach certain things in this world, but we’re gonna be okay, and that’s what I want the world to know—we’re gonna be okay.
We’ve had 46 white men fuck up and one black man, but we’re gonna be alright. Well, it ain’t gonna be alright anyway until we get a woman in there—because we can have a baby and run a household. That’s why they don’t want us in office.
I just tell people, you gotta learn to laugh. And we gotta learn to get along. I’m not wasting my time hating you because hate takes energy.
After just five minutes, I thanked Ms. Pat for her time. “Give me a hug,” she said. As I walked out of the Funny Bone—with so much more than just jokes on my mind—I felt a little wiser, maybe…and a little more capable of moving on. I carried with me a reminder of what it means to rise above what’s happened to you—and what can happen when you do. And days later, Ms. Pat’s words are still with me, strong, brave, and fearless: “if someone snatches part of your life, don’t just sit there—take it back.”